When we are at our darkest hour, some people will offer to help us get back on our feet. Unfortunately, not everyone who offers assistance does so with a giving heart, and they may even be attempting to manipulate us for their own benefit. It is not very difficult for a person to get what they want out of us when they feel we owe them because of the burden of gratitude.
Even the simple act of going on dates can bring an unwitting individual into such a scenario. Customarily, the man has always paid for the dates, leaving the female a sense of indebtedness to him. Many unscrupulous men will use this fact to manipulate a woman into sex, claiming that she owes him for the money he has spent on her.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents even use this exact tactic to control the choices their children make. By offering free housing and help with school tuition or child care, many parents will attempt to control who their kids date or what degree they pursue. Sometimes they might even try to establish curfews for children who are much too old to legally bound by such restrictions.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
Anyone who offers to help their friends should evaluate their own motives when they make such offers. We must be willing to get from a place of generosity, and not because we want to get something out of them for ourselves. Assistance or money given should never be done with the intention of getting repaid, or laid.
Everyone needs assistance at different points in their lives, so we are all vulnerable to being manipulated at that time. In our greatest times of need, sometimes it is better to seek the assistance of strangers. Co-workers, friends, family, and especially exes may not really be helping us in a way that sees to our own best interests.
Even the simple act of going on dates can bring an unwitting individual into such a scenario. Customarily, the man has always paid for the dates, leaving the female a sense of indebtedness to him. Many unscrupulous men will use this fact to manipulate a woman into sex, claiming that she owes him for the money he has spent on her.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
Parents even use this exact tactic to control the choices their children make. By offering free housing and help with school tuition or child care, many parents will attempt to control who their kids date or what degree they pursue. Sometimes they might even try to establish curfews for children who are much too old to legally bound by such restrictions.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
Anyone who offers to help their friends should evaluate their own motives when they make such offers. We must be willing to get from a place of generosity, and not because we want to get something out of them for ourselves. Assistance or money given should never be done with the intention of getting repaid, or laid.
Everyone needs assistance at different points in their lives, so we are all vulnerable to being manipulated at that time. In our greatest times of need, sometimes it is better to seek the assistance of strangers. Co-workers, friends, family, and especially exes may not really be helping us in a way that sees to our own best interests.
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